One of the things that I heard over and over when I was working towards my principal's certification was how hard it is to balance everything once you are an administrator. I listened and thought "Of course it will be tough but I'm sure it can't be that bad....I'll be fine." Truth be told, I am fine. But I have to admit now that I have been an administrator for the past 8 years, it is not easy and it is all about balance.
I am currently a doctoral candidate and, as such, have become more reflective on my practice and performance in this job. Also, I have slowly developed the notion that it is not so much a job I have, but a vocation. I am thankful for this slow revelation and I credit this for allowing me to find and try to hold onto that elusive balance I seek daily.
As I see it, the job of a school administrator can, and often does, overwhelm and consume a person because of the sheer breadth and depth of responsibilty it encompasses. A 9 to 5 job, it certainly is not. In addition to all the "things" you are responsible for from buses,school lunches, and fire drills to budgets, contracts and curriculum, you are ultimately responsible for the people in your school. This is the most important aspect of the job - the people. Students, staff, parents, board members, and community members all need, want and deserve attention from you at any given moment. It is all about building, maintaining, and respecting relationships that make a school administrator effective. All of this requires a great deal of emotional capital and these same relationships are what can easily tip the emotional scales and result in burnout, exhaustion, and discontent.
I have learned something about what was meant by my mentors and colleagues when they cautioned and advised us to keep a balance in our lives. I realize that my style of leadership is defintely that of a "servant leader" in that I expend a tremendous amount of energy in an effort to support the people around me. For me, therefore, I had to realize that I could not continue to go to my "emotional well" over and over to meet the needs of the people in my school without filling it up sometimes too. I slowly began to understand that I had to do things that were solely for me in an effort to take care of myself so I could be a better leader for others.
I have tried many things to meet this need and have definitely achieved more balance because of them. Though everyone's list of things will look a little different, mine is definitely a spiritually-based one. I pray. Sometimes for my students, sometimes for my staff, and sometimes for myself. I pray for patience and for wisdom. I pray for forgiveness when I feel anger or resentment. After prayer, I carve out a few minutes for quiet and solitude every day. No email or phone or texts. No conversation. No television. Occasionally this time might be found during a quick walk outside or during a drive in the car alone or even in my room at night before I sleep. But this time is absolutely necessary for me to recharge and still my mind. Finally, my list includes taking time to enjoy all the aspects of my life. I was a mother, friend, daughter, and sister before I was ever a principal and these areas of my life are what make me who I am. Without these areas being healthy and whole, I can never be effective in my vocation.
I am so blessed to have learned all of these things in the 8 years since I began this part of my professional career. I wonder what new perspectives I will have in the future?
